1. Rollmops*. There is no good reason for these.
2. Bank privacy rules. So they ring & ask to speak to The Councillor. I’m all “He’s not here, can I help?” And they’re all “Privacy regulations prevent us from talking to you. Could you give us his mobile number?” Seriously dude?
3. Enjo. I know it’s supposed to be amazing, but with apologies to the environment, I need chemicals involved when I’m cleaning. Or at least a chemical smell.
4. Foxtel IQ. Pausing live TV? Does. My. Head. In.
5. Why anyone needs to learn the recorder.
6. Why men have such a problem with coins.
7. Ears pierced with humungous circular thingies. Or things that look like miniature elephant tusks. Eww. Look outside – does it look like the Amazon out there? No? Then don’t put a dish in your ear
What's wrong with a nice pearl stud?
8. Why The Councillor’s sneezes are so freaking loud.
9. Boy-leg undies/swimsuits – they DO NOT suit every figure. I could give you photographic evidence, but you might be eating.
10. How my daughter can be “too busy” to eat her lunch at school. She’s 6. What the fuck is she doing? Her Barbie thesis?
11. Why are brandy snaps called brandy snaps? I made some last weekend. There was no brandy involved.
12. Personalised number plates with the model of the car. What – just in case I didn’t notice your car is a BMW318, you need to point it out with a plate that says BMW318? Wanker.
* Rollmops are pickled herring fillets, rolled into a cylindrical shape around slices of onion, pickled gherkin or green olive with pimento. Told you.
Ewwww
October 14, 2011
For reasons beyond me I thought a rollmop was a hairstyle. Seriously. And now I’m all wat is with that fish?
Also my Miss 6 is also too busy for lunch. Then come home and tells me her tummy hurts. Ohai clever girl, how about eating?
October 14, 2011
Funny
October 12, 2011
Great roundup there Nic.
My husband sneezes so loud my ears ring afterward. Nowadays when he’s making to sneeze, I have taken to saying “Bless You Bless You Bless You Bless You Bless You” with my fingers in my ears. 9 /10 it scares the sneeze away and he curses me.
I agree with pretty much everything else – those ‘spacers’ in the ears are grotesque. But as for rollmops- not that I eat them, I don’t ever question anything the Scandanavians come up with. If rollmops with vodka after a sauna and porn make you look that good, they must be onto something. And don’t forget, they also invented IKEA!!
October 12, 2011
Miss Nic
Now stop being so funny as I think I will have to wear my depends when reading your posts!
Ok for starters
I get them all!
but to dissect them
2. how come you have to input your account number when you call them “so they can identify you” but then you have to tell the operator when they answer or are transferred all over again who you are???
7. Freaks! Lock them all up on an island together! (oops am I allowed to type that out loud)
8. I didn’t know that but thanks for the tip off!
9. ditto.
12. Because they can’t remember the model of their car and all print matter helps (hey I don’t agree with it either).
13. (I know you haven’t got a number 13. but I’m adding my own)
What is it with tattoo’s and specifically sleeves of tattoos and legs of tattoos?
tribal culture yes but why for the rest of Australia??? Lock them up with number 7. (ooh am I still not allowed to type that out loud too)?
14. (same again as 13.) What is it with the piercings in the brows, chins, under lips, tongues, cheeks etc (well you get the picture) better move over on that island, the island’s getting crowded.
have a great day chicky
🙂 Loulou
October 12, 2011
Re the bank wanting to speak with my husband… Got so sick of saying he’s not here blah blah blah, just said I was him! Normal voice, and they accepted it and carried on! Try it! They aren’t game to say you sound like a woman.
October 12, 2011
Number 10 made me almost spit out my wine when I laughed.
October 12, 2011
No! That would be a terrible waste of wine 🙂
October 12, 2011
Also, FYI, your comment system kept telling me I wasn’t a member of my own blog, so I left the web address off!
October 12, 2011
Stoopid comment system! Have no idea why it’s doing that, but will have a little faff around and see what I can find…
October 12, 2011
Oh god yes to so many of these. Especially the whole boy leg thing (it just make me look incredibly short-legged), and the privacy rules thing. You have no idea how many arguments I’ve had with our bank/credit card companies about their stoopid privacy rules. My husband works and I don’t, so it makes sense that I do all the admin stuff, but so often I can’t (apparently to these guys being a ‘supplementary card holder’ means nothing, and a spouse even less). It’s gotten to the point where I’m saying things like ‘you know I’m just going to ring you back, put on a deep voice and pretend to be my husband, right?’. Ahhh, what fun.
October 12, 2011
My 11yo son’s voice just broke – may use it to my advantage when dealing with bank 🙂
October 12, 2011
Aren’t brandy snaps supposed to be filled/served with brandy cream? I love number 10! My hubby doesn’t sneeze loud, but is unable to control his left leg at the precise moment he sneezes. It would be funnier (I think it’s hilarious) if he wasn’t also a flexible yoga teacher, as he marginally escapes breaking his nose with his knee. Why can’t they ‘achoo’ like the rest of us?
October 12, 2011
I LOVE that he can’t control his left leg when he sneezes. That’s hilarious.
October 12, 2011
So with you on #1, #6, #7 and #12.
October 12, 2011
The creepy piercing thing seems to be the one that people universally don’t get. Because YUCK! 🙂
October 12, 2011
Lost my other comment, urg. Trying again.
Those discs in the ears, I don’t get them either. I hope that my children never come up to me with ear accessories that we can eat of of!
Rollmops…eww!
Great list! Tweeting this.