Today I bought new undies, and I swear to God I could not have been more excited if I had been buying a pair of Christian Louboutin Shoes and a Prada handbag.
Whilst your first thought might be “geez Nic, you need to get out more” (and you’d be right), I have a sneaky suspicion that I’m not the only one who finds their undie replacement programme something to look forward to.
And when I say I was looking forward to it, I’m not kidding. I DIARISED the undie-focussed shopping trip 2 weeks in advance, after facing up to the irrefutable truth about the state of my undies. And frankly, if you expect me to go into more detail about that state, you are on the wrong blog.
Suffice to say, my annual undie replacement programme was running late by about 3 years. Now, given the build-up, you might think that my collection of smalls was made up of a plethora of pretty underthings from high-end lingerie emporiums. Yeah… not so much.
Amish grandmothers probably have fancier underfashions than mine. I am like a bloke when it comes to my choice of undies:
- SAME brand – I’m a Bonds girl. Because I look totally like Sarah Murdoch. And you’ll find none of those uber-trendy citrus boyleg undies in my collection because a) boyleg undies only look good on 3 year olds and Sarah Murdoch. and b) because I don’t want anything remotely citrusy near my lady parts.
- SAME model – Everyday Hipster in cotton – there’s no place for shiny, slippery undies in my top drawer or on my bot.
- SAME colours – black, white and beige. And no, I’m not ashamed to admit to the inclusion of beige undies. There is no other choice under white pants or a white frock. Let me go all fashion-blogger on you for a moment, and say that WHITE UNDERWEAR SHOWS THROUGH WHITE CLOTHES. Also, I’ve been married 13 years – the colour of my undies ceased to be a seduction factor a while back.
So Hot
I have another confession which I know will trouble a few people, regardless of whether they shop at Best & Less or Victoria’s Secret. My underfashions don’t match. Never have. I don’t think they even matched on my wedding day.
So until they come up with Genie Undies, to go with my (black, white and beige) Genie Bras, I’ll be a mismatched, but comfy, mess. You’re welcome.
May 1, 2012
I live in perpetual fear that Bond’s will discontinue their bikini leg cotton knickers. It’s all I ever buy. I was deeply disappointed when they stooped to writing BONDS BONDS BONDS BONDS BONDS all around the top band. But what can ya do. I have them in grey also. Good for when you’re not up for wearing black or white, but just can’t go the beige. And they co-ordinate so well with the trackie daks for that sophisticated slob look I have learned to do so well.
March 7, 2012
I buy good old fashioned multipack undies from Woolies, Big W or Target. I know, I’m klassy. And half the time (usually at night) I have to wear giant granny panties because my first csec went wrong and I have a mammoth bitch of a scar to prove it, which tends to be the same place as where undies sit. Mmmm, sthexthy.
February 6, 2012
A) I can’t believe you admit to wearing Beige pants (or beige anything for that matter)
B) I am sadder than you as I still get my mum to send me pants from Marks and Spencers in the UK and I’m 37.
Great post, glad to have found you.
Kate
December 5, 2011
We wear the same undies.
That makes us pantie twins or something.
HUZZAH!
Or… ew.
November 9, 2011
If you want to be *really* like a bloke in your undie shopping habits, you’d be forcing someone else to buy them. I do NOT understand this rule, but apparently it’s against the religion of most men to purchase their own underthingies. So much so, that even my gay High School best friend made me come along with him to chaperone the transaction. I have never understood this phobia.
November 9, 2011
Too funny and true! Im going undie shopping today!!!
November 8, 2011
Miss Nic,
oh god that is so funny – so honest and so relatable!
How is it the nongs of the world think you put white under white trousers or dresses and think they have it right? (Yes I know, mystery of the world).
and yes for sure – boy legs do only look good on boys and girls of 3 years of age
thank you for the honesty – I now don’t need to go to confession this weekend over my knickers.
loulou, from hereiamloulou blog
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