So where was I?  Right.  I was writing a post when I kind of got distracted …about 7 months ago. Shut up. I’ve been busy. Busy having the following convo with myself.

Me A:            Crap.  I haven’t blogged in a couple of weeks. Have totally fallen off the blogging wagon. Must get back on.

Me B:            OK. Go on then.

Me A:            I will! I’m just tossing up a couple of post ideas.

Me B:            How hard can it be? Just pick one.

Me A:            Very freaking hard, actually. I thought my last post idea was hilarious. Turned out to be rubbish. Need to get it right this time.

Me B:            So pick the other idea. They can’t both be crap.

Me A:            That’s easy for you to say.  You seem to think it’s as easy as just starting to type. You know nothing. IT’S VERY STRESSFUL.

Me B:            OK. Calm yourself.  Why don’t you think about the reasons you started blogging in the first place?

Me A:            Good idea. It was really because I had lots to say…

Me B:            Ummm…..

Me A:            Shut up.  I’ve had a thought!  Will find clever and efficient app in which to keep blogging ideas.  Then when I have blogging block, will be able to refer to it!  Genius.

Me B:             Excellent.  Go forth and browse App Store!

A week later…

Me A:            Can’t find an app.  Will use QuickNote – already on my Mac!  Huzzah!  Have put first item on list.  Am totally on a roll!

3 months later….

Me B:            How’s that list coming along?  Must be quite lengthy by now, yes?

Me A:            Well it would be, except that I sort of forgot about it. Shut up. But am firing it back up today! Hooray!  I’m back!

2 months later…

Me A:            How good do those bloggy conferences look? On Twitter everyone’s all “Had the best time! Learned so much! Best swag ever!” I wish I blogged enough to go to one of them. I wanna be one of the cool kids!

Me B:            Well, there’s an incentive for you.  If you start blogging regularly, you can go!

Me A:            You’re right!  I think that’s exactly what I’ve needed. Will immediately research upcoming blogging conferences and diarise. Blogging arse, consider yourself kicked!

3 months later…

Me A:            OMG, I just had a look at my blog email folder, and I have about a hundred new subscribers! OMG! They’re probably all waiting anxiously for my next post to land in their inboxes! I must not let my peeps down.  Must write an especially fabulous post to remind them why they subscribed.

Me B:            “Waiting anxiously…”? Really?

Me A:            Shut up.  Yes they are.  And stop interrupting me.  I need to get started.

2 months later…

Me A:            Have had genius idea! Will re-launch blog with a Giveaway!  I am the Queen of top ideas.

Me B:            Great idea!  Go for it.  What will you give away?

Me A:            Dunno. How do blog giveaways work?  Does it have to be something that is given to me by someone who wants to showcase their stuff? Or can it be something from my present drawer? Or do I just go and buy something? Halp!!!

Me B:            I don’t think it matters.  Just do one of those things.

Me A:            Might ask Twitter.  Yes, Twitter will tell me.

Me B:            Yeah ok. Hurry up.

Me A:            No! No need to ask Twitter! Have had brilliant idea! Will give away a signed set of my sister’s books!

Me B:            Thank God.  Off you go then!

Me A:            Hang on… Need to think of a topic that I can link to books.

Me B:            Oh for the love of God…